LIIII POOOOO

Beginning Again

“If I could stop talking, completely
cease talking for a year, I might begin
to get well,” he muttered.
Off alone again performing
brain surgery on himself
in a small badly lit
room with no mirror. A room
whose floor ceiling and walls
are all mirrors, what a mess
oh my God—

And still
it stands,
the question
not how begin
again, but rather

Why?

So we sit there
together
the mountain
and me, Li Po
said, until only the mountain
remains.

—Franz Wright


I don't particularly understand this poem, but I believe it shows a level of introspection. Li Po was a chinese poet, so the narrator is indeed alone- which brings more light to the poem- this person is talking about how go in and go out, the actions that he does do not affect the mountain- though change is all around us, some things appear to remain constant. He performs brain surgery on himself, trying to change himself. It is a mess. There is a mess when he is alone. If he stops talking, he is trying to keep a constant- as speech- action- is change. However he can not prevent that so he is performing brain surgery. Not literally, of course, but forcing himself to be what he can't by changing his mannerism and be silent to try to "heal". This is the metaphorical brain surgery. I am not sure how exactly the poet plays in, but the mountain remaining symbolizes constance.

The Awakening 5-9

I am interested by the confrontation between Robert and Adéle. It confused me in part because I had the understanding that people in creole society would not suspect that Robert would have any sort of intentions, and that a woman would not respond or take any intentions seriously, because the woman in question is married. I would have thought that Adéle would not pick up on this, and it surprised me that she had. Robert's reaction was fitting, as it angers him a little bit. However it almost seems like he was angered for the wrong reasons- instead of being angry at someone suspecting his intentions, he seemed angry at the idea of her taking him seriously, or the idea of her NOT taking him seriously- he seemed angry at the concept of whether it should matter or not. Of course it is possible that he was not angry and was just putting on a front, but the front he would put on doesn't seem like it would be that one. It is also odd that Adéle talks to Robert instead of just telling Edna not to take him seriously. How bizarre.

The Awakening 1-4

This culture pisses. me. off.
O.K, I understand that it was the culture. But seriously, folks. How could it have never even crossed their minds that a woman is NOT in fact utterly devoted to her husband any more than her husband is utterly devoted to her? That she doesn't need to sit around all day and knit or chase after children? Or that if her husband has affairs, she is damn well allowed to, too?

Oh well. I must move past this.
I like Edna, although in the first four chapters she is not as dynamic a character as I would have hoped. She is in fact rather passive, as she doesn't address any of this oddity that she finds in creole life to anyone, but instead sits back and thinks about it. The crying scene shows the extent of that, although it is in fact probably her realization that something is wrong and that she can not be happy in a life like this. It is interesting how she has been dealing with it for so long. It is also interesting that she finds the culture with a lack of prudishness- they will talk about anything, just not do it.

Fear

My Fear

He follows us, he keeps track.
Each day his lists are longer.
Here, death, and here,
something like it.

Mr. Fear, we say in our dreams,
what do you have for me tonight?
And he looks through his sack,
his black sack of troubles.

Maybe he smiles when he finds
the right one. Maybe he’s sorry.
Tell me, Mr. Fear,
what must I carry

away from your dream.
Make it small, please.
Let it fit in my pocket,
let it fall through

the hole in my pocket.
Fear, let me have
a small brown bat
and a purse of crickets

like the ones I heard
singing last night
out there in the stubbly field
before I slept, and met you.

—Lawrence Raab



This addresses the nagging aspect that fear gives. He follows us... fear follows a person and indeed keeps track. People gain more fears as their lives go on (though they may lose some, they tend to gain more). More bad things happen to people as their lives go on and that develops more fears. The black sack of troubles is simply a metaphor for the cloud of fear and dread that hangs over a person. The person is willing fear to keep the fears small- keep it something that can fall through the hole in his pocket, something that he can lose easily and overcome. The other interesting part is the last line, which says "before I slept and met you". This says that he met fear in his dreams- therefore the fears that he has are not concrete, they are abstract fears, which is why Fear can not make it small enough to fit in his pocket- abstract fears are not small. Instead Fear must carry around the black bag; to fit the abstract fears.

Last Words

The exchange with the fiancee struck me. She is very much deceived into thinking that she knew Mr. Kurtz, not only very well, but in fact the only person that knew his true nature. Marlow feels very awkward in this scene because he doesn't want to tell the mourning fiancee that this was not true... it isn't exactly the right thing to tell someone who is mourning- however, he felt torn because she was terribly misinformed. She had no idea of the atrocities that Kurtz committed and his spiral downward into the darkness. I still haven't decided if it was ok that Marlow lied to her about Kurtz's last words... because yes, it calms her mind to make her believe that his last words were her name, because there is no use in upsetting her any further... but I am not sure if it is right to try to cover up what he did and pretend that it never happened.

Heart of Darkness

The theme of restraint comes up again in this section. However, it is used in reference to Kurtz, when he has the human heads on posts. The passage is "This only showed that Mr. Kurtz lacked restraint in the gratification of his various lusts, that there was something wanting in him- some small matter which, when the pressing need arose, could not be found under his magnificent eloquence."

This is one of the most prominent sections that reflects the savagery of the journey and the depth of the darkness that has taken Kurtz over. In Europe something like this would be seen as very horrible and under normal circumstances almost no human being would do this, but the darknes has overtaken Kurtz to the degree that he turns to the savagery of putting human heads on his posts. The worst part is that the heads are turned to him- demonstrative of his thirst for power and need to be in charge. He is worshipped as a God, and this power mixed with this darkness has taken hum over and made him do things that he would never do in a controlled society. Also, because he is not immune to the darkness like the natives, it has an extreme effect on him which is how this happens.

Restraint

The idea of restraint comes up a lot in this section. For example, at the beginning Marlow mentions that the cannibals are on board, but they did not eat each other in front of anyone. (or at all, in fact). As we talked about in class, it wasn't really a logical reason that they didn't eat anyone; it was simply a moral restriction and restraint.
Also, as we talked about in class, there is a scene in which the steamboat passes screaming natives in the dark and fog. (The white mist, in fact, which is an interesting twist of symbols) The people that show the restraint in this scene are not the "civilized folk" but instead the cannibals. They are the ones that keep pushing the boat through and keep everyone moving forward as the Europeans are afraid. It is ironic that their goal is to "tame the savages" but the "savages" show more restraint and civility than the Europeans in times of trouble.

Ownership of Darkness

In the beginning of section 2, there is a quote that goes "When you have to attend to things of that sort, to the mere incidents of the surface, the reality- the reality , I tell you- fades. The inner truth is hidden- luckily, luckily."
This theme of avoiding reality comes up many times in this section. It ties a little bit into the conversation with the aunt, and the "beautiful world of women" because they supposedly can not face "men's reality". However this begins to get tied in with the idea of the darkness- one must retreat from the reality or else he will be consumed by the darkness and will be driven wild and crazy like the darkness itself. In class we also talked a little about Kurtz's reality- how he claims ownership of everything when in fact the darkness owns him. If one doesn't retreat to his or her own false world- the beautiful world that women see, or something similar- the darkness will own him.